This is where he wanted to be
by pepper-maroon
Summary: One stormy night, Derek reflects on the women in his life and the one he finally settled down with. **Note: this is more of the story arc for another fic in case I don't finish it.**


_**Summary: **__One stormy night, Derek lies awake reflecting on the women in his life and the one he finally settled down with._

_**Author's Note:**__This is more of an epilogue to **It Happened One Night**. However, you don't have to read that in order to understand this one. The idea for **IHON** played out so well in my mind that I churned out two additional chapters, one of Addison and one from the Chief. However, due to my computer crashing (I blame my brother) I was heartbroken and could not bring myself to rewrite it or the remaining chapters. _

_Instead, I'm posting an epilogue. Actually not really an epilogue, but more along the lines of the story arc I had originally planned. It was supposed to start with Izzie and Derek. Then all the other characters would get a good bit in about what they've observed before coming back to Izzie and Derek._

_Anyway, now you can get closure and it also leaves it open for me to continue the other fic should I ever find inspiration again (I just don't like the direction the show is taking and haven't been watching this season at all). Basically, all my favorite medical shows were lumped together._

_Now, on to the good stuff. Please review. I love constructive criticism, but I don't like flames when the pairing is already marked and this is fanfiction. Don't like it, don't read it._

_Again, this is more of the storyline I had planned except it has an ending.

* * *

_

Derek woke up with a start as he heard another clap of thunder. He waited for his racing heart beat to come down again and tried to close his tired eyes, but sleep never came. Instead, he opened his eyes just in time to see the room illuminated by lightening followed by another rumble of thunder.

Sleep wasn't just coming to him tonight. It would be okay. He didn't have as many surgeries anymore as he let most of his residents take over most of the time. He only stepped in for the high-risk surgeries and reveled in his new found passion for teaching. It was something he picked up from his wife.

Turning on his side, he found himself face to face with the slumbering goddess. She lay peacefully, oblivious to the racket outside. She deserved it. She was pulling too many shifts and he told her to slow down. She had simply laughed at him and told him that it was her turn and he should just enjoy life as he had it now.

Derek softly brushed his fingers across her face and traced his fingers across her full lips. He felt her stir and brush a kiss into his palm before nuzzling into his chest. He smiled. He felt so warm and happy having her rest on him. He would give up his lifetime for moments like these.

Moments he had failed to appreciate before.

Derek moved his fingers to her hair and gently massaged her scalp as he felt the softness surround his fingers. She cut her hair again. She said the kids were pulling on it. She could be bald and he still wouldn't care. She was beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful.

There was another flash of lightening followed by a lower rumble when Derek found his eyes on the strand of blond hair in his fingers.

Who knew he would end up here? No one ever expected him to be with her. In fact, if someone had told him where he would be today ten years ago, he would have laughed and said he only had eyes for one blond.

And now, at his side was a totally different blond and he saw different shades of blond every day.

* * *

Life. This was where he wanted to be. It was where he always wanted to be. It just took him years to get here. And a push in the right direction from Addison before he found it.

Derek closed his eyes in a grimace when he realized he wasted three years before he could figure out what he wanted and what he had done.

Addison had told him, "You either change your ideals or change the woman. You don't get to string both of them along and hold out for something better."

He had shaken his head at her, but he was too late in realizing she was right. But by then, the love of his life had disappeared and it was three years before he found her again.

He held his wife tighter to him on this stormy night, thinking back on all the places he had been before he finally found home with her. All the storms he had gone through before he realized how much he loved her.

* * *

_The first girl he ever had a crush on was in his third grade class. Jenny Freeman. Jenny and her two blond pigtails that were always hanging down to her elbows. Jenny and her freckles. Jenny and her stick legs. Mark didn't like her. Contrary to popular belief, Mark wasn't born a womanizer. There was a time when he actually hated girls for their cooties._

Cooties was he word he had almost forgotten until the kids started school.

_But back to Jenny. It all happened one day when his mom gave him Nancy's lunch instead of his. Nancy hated crusts and he couldn't eat a sandwich without them. _

_He was sitting between Jenny and Mark staring at the crust less sandwich in front of him while half listening to Mark complain about some girl holding his hand on a field trip when Jenny suddenly swapped his sandwich with hers. She took a big bite of the crust less sandwich and Derek was too shocked to notice the now ham and cheese crusted sandwich in front of him. _

_"Well, you weren't going to eat it," she simply stated._

It was that day that he knew he wanted blond and someone who could instantly read his thoughts and share things with him. He never saw Jenny again, but he always remembered that one moment.

* * *

_Life went on and he became that gangly teenager and had his first kiss with Nikki Jones in the back of a movie theater. He remembered the way she stuck her tongue down his throat. He wasn't sure if that was her first kiss and that's how she thought it would be or if she already had the experience. He had gagged every time he saw her after that for the rest of the year._

_He never saw her again after middle school, but Mark later confided that she taught him a lot about his manhood._

_He remembered that moment not because it was his first kiss or because his face had powder marks from Nikki's caked on make-up, but because of something entirely different._

_For five minutes, he didn't care that he was in back of a theater and his mom was in the restroom while he was making out with the girl who would soon become a notorious slut in high school._

It was because of that moment that today, he kissed his wife when he could, not caring if they were in a public place.

* * *

_The first time he had sex was in the back of Mark's car with Debbie Hancock (Mark had laughed about that one for days) in junior year while everyone else was cheering on the football team at the playoffs. He tried going out with Debbie, but there was just no magic. He just wasted several months thinking he took her virginity when he found out that three other guys felt the same way._

He knew then that he wanted magic. He was that guy. The one who loved to romance because making a girl gushy made him more passionate about the love they shared.

* * *

Mark had taken him to various other parties where he enhanced his sexual vocabulary and practiced his technique. Those girls were just faceless in his mind. Some he couldn't remember. Some he didn't want to remember.

_Then he met Addison. Addison Forbes Montgomery. Addison who made him forget what he wanted…temporarily. _

_She was fresh air. Confident. Smart. Insanely sexy with her never ending legs. She could walk into a room and the attention would already be hers. _

_He loved her. He really did. But then he got distracted and his image of her was shattered. Perhaps if he paid more attention to her or worked things out with her like she asked, they would have still been together. After all, she was quirky and dashing. _

_He never knew until afterwards that she was a mess inside. A mess that kept getting messier until she snapped. Thankfully, Mark was there with her. His thing with Lexie ended when she couldn't keep up with Mark's long-lost daughter. _

_Derek was happy that Mark and Addison, two of the messiest people he knew, finally found their way together. He always knew there was something between them and looking back, he felt as if he was in the way. _

_Now he was happy they got together. Mark moved to Los Angeles and took Sloane with him. Addison got her baby wish when she was finally able to help Mark raise his grandson while Sloane went back to school._

If there was anything he realized from being with Addison, it was that he loved quirks. And more important than quirks was her confidence and character.

* * *

_Along came Meredith after that. A one-night stand that led to something more and more and …._

_She was different. Dark and conflicted. He knew. He knew that she could never be what he wanted even though he tried to be what she wanted. But he couldn't stay away from her. She was some sort of strange-love addiction and he was constantly trying to unravel her mystery._

They tried. They tried to make it work. He moved in with her, but he knew that somewhere down the line it would all fall apart.

He thought it would be on her end, but he was mistaken.

Derek slipped up.

He slept with her best friend.

* * *

Izzie. He had slept with Izzie. He tried to ignore it and work things out with Meredith, but he found his mind wandering to Izzie.

Addison had visited then. She was heartbroken about something else, but she quickly noticed what had transcended between him and Izzie.

Addison had confronted him. About how much had hurt her with Meredith and now he was doing the same with Meredith. Derek knew that Addison had a soft spot for Izzie because of her immense potential.

Derek was trying to ignore her words, but she was right. He just didn't want to admit it. She told him to choose.

Finally she told him that Mark was better because at least there were no expectations from him.

* * *

But before he could make his choice, it was already made for him. First, Izzie avoided him at all costs. And by the end of the week, she had disappeared.

The only way they knew she was gone was when a drunken Alex and Lexie stumbled into her room and discovered it was empty. All of her friends were quite shaken.

Izzie made the choice. She didn't want anything to do with him and at that time, he thought it was probably for the better. No one had to know about their transgression and he went on to have a post-it wedding with Meredith.

He soon learned through casual conversation with the Chief that Izzie had transferred to the Princeton-Plainsboro surgical program. The Chief confessed that he hesitantly granted it to her because she seemed to need fresh air.

"But Princeton? Isn't that where—"

"House is? Yes. She has assisted on some of House's surgical cases. She told me it was a wonderful experience."

It didn't take him long to realize that Addison was behind all this. He and Addison had met House at a medical conference years ago. House had begrudgingly attended and his remarks made Derek want to whack him with his cane by the end. But apparently, something had transpired between House and Addison that resulted in House become more accepting of her. When Derek had questioned her, she simply replied, "I got him good."

Derek had half a mind to call Addison and tell her off for interfering, but it was too late by then and all he could hear was the Chief saying she needed fresh air.

* * *

About one year into his post-it wedding, Derek noticed that George would disappear for weekends at a time. He soon learned from Meredith that George was visiting Izzie. After all, they were best friends. However, George always avoided him and kept the conversation minimal when he was around.

Derek didn't really dwell much on information about Izzie anymore. She had obviously made her choice, and he was moving on with his life.

Although, a post-it said they were official, he felt anything but. He still felt like he was living at a frat house and he wanted stability.

Then one week, George came back from a vacation in Miami with Izzie. George was telling Meredith about Izzie hitting it off with some hot-shot plastic surgeon form Miami. Christian Troy. Derek vaguely remembered hearing that name and his stomach clenched for a second.

By the following week, he overheard George report that long distance wasn't working and Troy was back with his ex-porn star ex-girlfriend. Apparently porn star trumped Bethany Whisper model. Derek couldn't help but feel relieved. However, it didn't stop the funny looks he still received from George.

* * *

About two and a half years after the post-it wedding, Derek found himself constantly fantasizing about Izzie and how life would have been for them. Derek felt guilty when sleeping beside Meredith and debated whether or not tell her about that night he cheated on her.

And that he was the reason Izzie left.

* * *

Three years into the post-it wedding and two life altering events took place.

One--George got hit by a bus and died.

Two--Izzie stepped off a plane from New Jersey with a three-year-old child in tow for the funeral.

Everyone noticed the dark haired boy with blue eyes and rumors spread like wildfire.

Meredith was oblivious to the boy's, George Stevens, familiar looks. If there was any recognition, she hid it well.

Cristina only needed one glance to know the truth.

Izzie only tearfully claimed that he was named George for the one friend who was always there for her.

Meredith had insisted that Izzie stay at the house.

Derek found her early morning in the kitchen heating up milk for little George. She barely glanced at him.

The question was forming at his lips, but she merely straightened and said, "You're not the father."

_She knew his thoughts_.

Izzie set out a plate of pastries. "It helps me deal," she explained as she passed it to him.

Izzie's statement didn't quell his doubts. Izzie moved about confidently towards her son for his milk.

Derek already knew the second he looked into little George's eyes, whose eyes he was staring at. But that didn't stop him from plucking a few hairs from the innocent child to confirm his beliefs.

One day later, Izzie took her son and was back in New Jersey, just as Derek realized she had left with his son.

* * *

He had sat down with Meredith two days later to tell her that things weren't the same anymore. After much argument, their post-it lay shredded on the floor and Derek moved back to his trailer. He spent six months trying to piece together his feelings when the Chief came to him one night.

"You have the week off. Go to her. Go to her, Derek."

He did. He left that night to see her. She didn't need him. She had grown. When he confronted her about lying, she merely said, "You're not the father because you didn't raise him."

"You didn't let me."

* * *

Derek could hear the soft-pattering of rain against the windows.

* * *

It had been ten years since he slept with Izzie.

Seven years since he broke up with Meredith.

Six years since he got married. In an actual churchy-church wedding.

Four years since he had blond haired daughter.

And today he was holding his wife in his arms.

* * *

The steady rain fall brought a sense of calm to him. After those stormy years, he finally found the rain.

His wife stirred against him. He loosened his hold on her and she opened her eyes while stifling a yawn.

"Can't sleep?" she asked running her fingers through his graying but still nice hair.

"No," he said nuzzling her face.

She smiled and wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him closer.

"You make me feel so young and alive," he muttered, brushing his lips against hers.

"Where is this coming from?" she asked kissing him back.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about us," he said into her mouth.

"Well…you know people always wonder what I'm doing with an old guy like you," she darted her tongue out to lick his jaw line.

"Why don't I show you…"

Derek went back to kissing her. He parted her lips and allowed himself to drink from her. She pulled him down to her and he could feel her nipples hardening at the contact at his bare chest. He crushed her into him and he took her hands and pinned her to the bed. She wasn't having any of it as his breathing suddenly hitched when he realized her thigh was rubbing against his hardening member through his boxers. He let out a groan and let go of one of her hands to trace his fingers from her swollen lips to the swell of her breasts and down the flimsy thing she called a nightgown.

He pulled her night gown down revealing her dusky pink nipples and then began lavishing attention to them. He drew his tongue across the peaks as his fingers found their way to the wet place between her thighs.

She moaned and when Derek looked up at her, he couldn't help but straighten out and kiss her again.

Her hips began to buck into his fingers as he slowly touched her. Tortured her. And when she was finally panting for her, he eased himself into her.

She raked her fingers across his back and wrapped her legs around his waist urging him forward. He continued to thrust as she left welts across his back and placed little kisses into his neck.

He felt he was coming soon and inhaled the scent of her hair as he held on to her tighter.

A clap of thunder barely drowned out her scream of pleasure into his neck.

Just as he was nearing his end, she whispered to him, "I'm pregnant."

Before he could say anything, their bedroom door was thrown open. Derek barely had enough time to roll of her before they both made out a ten-year old boy with a four-year old in hand.

"She's scared of the thunder and won't let me sleep," little George whined and pushed his sister inside.

Derek inwardly groaned but his wife was already making her way to their daughter. She easily picked her up and held onto her while whispering soothing words.

"You're not scared?" Derek asked George.

"No," he replied. George headed back to his room.

Derek looked up at his wife rocking their daughter in her arms.

Life. This was where he wanted to be. Right in the rain.

"I love you, Iz."

* * *

_Okay, so if any of those names are yours, I'm sorry. They're actually the initials of girls at my high school that I couldn't stand (and they pretended to be my friend just to go out with my brother—Numero Uno Hunk—at my former high school_.


End file.
